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What if the Doctor Used a Nokia Lumia 900?

[caption id=”attachment_125060” align=”alignright” width=”465”]The TARDIS-esque Nokia Lumia 900 Windows Phone Does this phone remind you of anything?[/caption]

Nok Nok, a website dedicated to all things Nokia have asked the question; the ultimate question, the question hidden in plain sight: What smartphone would the Doctor use?

Unsurprisingly, (as far as they’re concerned) it’s a Nokia.

More specifically it’s the Nokia Lumia 900 – a Windows phone whose ‘tile’ system bares more than a passing resemblance to the panel on the TARDIS doors.

Now, rather than dedicating an entire television series arch to unfolding said question and then a further series to answer it Nok Nok have instead listed the reason why the Doctor would pick a Windows phone over an Android, Apple or even an open source operating system.

Firstly there are the specifications; what better way to check out facts about the myriad planets and time zones the Doctor visits than with a 4:3-inch screen? Exploring the planet and learning about individual customs yourself? No!

And don’t forget the eight megapixel camera with the new excellent Nokia Camera Extras – including the fabulous the Panorama app!

Now, it’s well documented that the Doctor has a habit of getting lost or arriving at the wrong time or location but with Nokia Drive and Nokia Maps, the Doctor will have no excuse for his enchanting, magical unplanned trips to untold wonders and will instead become punctual – which is way more exciting, I think you’ll agree.

As with most smartphone, it’s all about the apps and the Doctor has plenty to choose from:

“For example, the Sonic Screwdriver may be as iconic as the good Doctor’s TARDIS but in this age where everything is being integrated into your smartphone, having a virtual Sonic Screwdriver is just as good.”

Which it almost certainly isn’t…

“Options are available to mute the Sonic Screwdriver sound, have a loop instead of repeating endlessly and to stop the vibration of the Sonic Screwdriver.”

Because what the Doctor needs most is a less annoying life saving device like say, his actual screwdriver.

With Series 7 imminent we’re about to see a whole host of the Doctor’s greatest foes grace our screens once again with Asylum of the Daleks, so what better time to for the Doctor to download the Dalek Soundboard – which plays a raft of Dalek sounds from various incarnations to defend himself in oddly specific situations.

For more on the Nokia Lumia 900 and more Doctor Who apps head over to Nok Nok.

(And yes, we’re well aware that the Doctor is far more likely to use a device running an open-source operating system… it’s fun to see that so many tenuous links to the show are cropping up to earn some coin though, isn’t it?)

Anniversary Monopoly: The Final Design?

Doctor Who Monopoly: 50th Anniversary Edition

You may have looked at last week’s report on the Doctor Who Monopoly: 50th Anniversary Edition set and thought: ‘you know, if only the board was slightly different – then I’d snap that bad boy up in a heartbeat!’

Well ponder no more my hypothetical friend with too much money on their hands, because (yes!) the board in the previous article was nothing but a clever ruse!

Those wily brains at Winning Moves just wanted you to think it wasn’t very good in order to make this one seem better by comparison!

Now behold! The final design for the Fiftieth Anniversary set complete with: More space! A different logo! (which I’m hoping isn’t the official anniversary logo) and pretty much the same Doctor poses just rearranged in a slightly more appealing way (Sixth Doctor fans, sorry, you still get ‘tiny headed, frowny faced’ Doctor)

The Doctor Who: Monopoly 50th Anniversary set is available now to pre-order for release on the 28th August for £26.99.

Doctor Who Monopoly: 50th Anniversary Edition

I Always Dress for the Occasion!

Women – buy these. Men – brace yourselves.

Black Milk has released two Doctor Who-related items for the dedicated followers of fashion (and fandom). Though both are described merely as having ‘Police Box’ designs, it’s obviously the TARDIS.

The TARDIS mini-dress is available for £67, while the leggings are £51. Now, that might seem a lot, but they’re very cool, and, frankly, very sexy. Especially with hip, faux-geeky glasses.

Designed by James Lillis, and made in Australia, both use polyester primarily. The dress is also made of Lycra, and the leggings, spandex (the stuff of superheroes!); the former is already out-of-stock in two sizes – small and large – but more are being made. And you can show them off by sharing your pictures on Facebook or Twitter by including #bmpoliceboxdress and #bmpoliceboxlegs in your tweets.

Both look pretty good with boots that have silvery soles. It’s futuristic, y’see.

Now, we don’t actively encourage smutty jokes in the comments, but then again, we don’t really stop you, either…

Doctor Who Monopoly: 50th Anniversary Edition

Don’t be fooled by his happy countenance and whimsical facial hair; that Rich Uncle Pennybags offering to take your hand and drag you into the magical world of foreclosure on the box of the THIRD Doctor Who: Monopoly set is offering you nothing more than heartache and regret.

No, unlike his iconic counterpart, who clasped Rose’s hand as he took her on a magical, wonderful journey across time and space; all you’ll receive from old Pennybags sweaty palms is a trip to a hastily assembled, poorly conceived world of missed opportunities.

You might be thinking: “How hard is it to create a halfway decent Doctor Who: Monopoly set?”

All you have to do is make the playing pieces iconic Doctor Who props, include the odd obscure reference in the community chest cards to keep the die-hard fans happy and don’t overthink it; after all if the Pandorica is a prison, then make it the jail.

Job done, pass go and collect 200 credits.

A 50th Anniversary edition of Monopoly for Doctor Who Fans!

Well we’ve never won 2nd prize at a beauty contest but were sure that just slapping a picture of the Doctor on your dad’s old Monopoly board is a bit of an insult to the licence.

So in a characteristic last throw of the dice Winning Moves are set to release a fiftieth anniversary Doctor Who: Monopoly Set in a move that’s either going to solve all these problems or just offend fans of both the classic and new series in one foul swoop.

This is more than likely an item that is going to sell very well indeed over the next couple of years, featuring all eleven Doctors, favourite companions, and special Time Lord-themed pieces!

The jail and the Go! Square are still the same (perhaps fans of “Jake the Jailbird” and “Officer Edgar Mallory” will kick off) and while using the TARDISes as the Railway squares make sense; the logic unravels when it comes to other spaces (Why would you have to pay for the Sonic Screwdriver? Does the Doctor really have to pay Car Tax?) (Um, Bessie? - Ed)

Some thought has gone into the set as well: instead of representing a particular borough of London, the colours now represent one of the Doctors foes; so for the green squares it’s the Daleks and three iconic episodes from the shows history while the red squares represent the Master.

It’s not rocket science but then neither is a Doctor Who Monopoly set.

As amateur consumer advice experts Status Quo once said; “You pay your money, you take your choice” and in this case be prepared to pay quite a bit.

The Limited Edition (5000 copies) Doctor Who: Monopoly Fiftieth Edition set is available to pre-order now from Forbidden Planet for £26.99 to be released 28th August.

Daleks are coming to Monopoly for Doctor Who's 50th anniversary!

Illuminating TARDIS Book Light

Doctor Who TARDIS Clip-On Booklight & UV Pen

Are you looking for a suitably Doctor Who themed way to read in the dark before bedtime? Are you often struck by a sudden creative urge in the middle of the night and are desperately looking for a way to jot down your thoughts without blundering over the cat looking for a pen?

Well for the sake of your loved ones why not pick up the Doctor Who TARDIS Book Light from coolest-gadgets.com?

Illuminating your nightly book needs the Book Light offers an adjustable LCD light bright enough for you to read and a UV pen in order for you to jot out any secret notes, a tortured love poem to your unintended or a particularly vivid cheese dream.

The Doctor Who TARDIS Book Light is available now from Coolest-Gadgets.com for $15.99 if you’re in the USA, while UK readers can head to Amazon where the device is available for just £9.26!

More Ultimate Doctor Who Art Auction!

Ever wondered what would happen if a TARDIS and a Dalek merged? Well you can wonder no more as writer James Moran has kindly drawn a prototype picture of what such a creature might actually look like!

Moran, well known for writing Doctor Who episode The Fires of Pompeii as well as two Torchwood episodes is one of the many creative minds that have donated their drawings to part of a huge charity event called The Ultimate Doctor Who art auction.

Not only will Moran’s unique (and signed) piece be available to bid on but there are also some other very special drawings that you might want to try and get your hands on including a picture of the TARDIS drawn by Sylvester McCoy himself, a self portrait of the Inquisitor from 1986’s The Trial of a Time Lord drawn by Lynda Bellingham and even a picture drawn by the late Caroline John.

These wonderful items will be available to bidders in July 2012 and all the proceeds will be given over to various charities of the organisers choosing.

If you head over to fundraiser Twelveby12’s website (he explains the name once you’re there) you will be able to see some of the fantastic work that he has done as well as his plans for the future. This man has done a lot and helped raise an incredible amount for charity so if you haven’t seen his work, get over there and see it now!

Her Universe’s Doctor Who Range

Her Universe launches female-targeted Doctor Who clothes

It’s a great testament to Doctor Who’s ever-growing audience that apparel of any sort is in such high demand. Stroll into Forbidden Planet and you’ll find racks of Cybermen, Daleks, Silence and TARDIS t-shirts for all ages and sizes.

Her Universe, founded to create merchandise for ‘fangirls,’ dedicates its new range to – what else? – Doctor Who, with three t-shirts available from 11th July.

Her Universe was created by Ashley Eckstein (voice of Ahsoka Tano in Star Wars: The Clone Wars) and The Araca Group in 2009, and has created lines using brands like Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica. Eckstein said:

“Many of our design choices and decisions are influenced by our fans and Doctor Who was the #1 requested license by fangirls for us to pursue next. It was truly a dream come true when BBC Worldwide asked us to do their female merchandise and I am beyond excited to share this extraordinary announcement with our girls today! In the words of the Doctor, I feel like screaming ‘Geronimo’!”

The three launch tees are all based on the eleventh Doctor era, and features a specially-designed logo combining the brands. Hell in High Heels is obviously based on River Song, after the Doctor described her to Churchill in The Wedding of River Song. Her Universe explains:

“As soon as the Doctor referred to River Song as ‘Hell In High Heels,’ we knew that had to be on a t-shirt! River Song is smart, powerful, witty and sexy all while wearing high heels! If you’re going to save the world, you might as well look cute while doing it!”

The V-neck shirt will be available for $28, and is the only one of the three that’s suitable for even non-Who fans (somebody told me they existed once).

Something Blue is, indeed, blue, with an outline of the TARDIS in the bottom corner. Inspired by The Big Bang, the TARDIS is encircled by those famous words, ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.’ The 100% cotton V-neck will, once again, have an RRP of $28.

The final shirt, Van Gogh, has the artist’s The Pandorica Opens picture emblazoned on it, depicting the exploding TARDIS. Her Universe says:

“Just like Vincent Van Gogh we couldn’t get the image of the exploding TARDIS out of our heads! We loved this painting so much that we had to capture it on a top! This beautiful print is accented with highlights of gold foil.”

The $28 wide scoop shirt is available in a number of sizes, same as the previous two, ranging from Small to XXLarge. Van Gogh, though, is also available in 3XL and 4XL.

The range is set to expand, with the Doctor Who insignia in blue up next for release.

The shirts are available from the Her Universe website and BBC America’s shop. And Nerdist is running a competition to win the four t-shirt designs on their site, and their various social network accounts. Find more details here.

A (Strange) Question of Time Travel

The Eleventh Doctor's TARDISA builder from Arrowtown (in New Zealand, geography fans) ignited a small-scale bidding war on Trade Me by putting up a replica of a TARDIS.

While the replica did get 25,000 views during the time that it was on sale, the reserve price of $3500 (£1700 or so, which sounds sounds like the right price for one of these) wasn’t met, which means the piece might not be bought at all.

There is some hope for the highest bidder, however, as his daughter Sheree Carey says:

"Dad says it’s not about the money. He’s really happy to cover his costs and got a real giggle out of the popularity of it."

Kevin Mortimer, the builder in question, has also been fielding many enquiries about the “machine”. One such question was concerned with that area of life we’ve all been in: the relationship that hasn’t quite worked out the way we hoped:

"I need to go back to 1995 so I cannot ask my stupid wife to marry me. Can this machine go to exact times?"

As that’s currently impossible, one has to feel some measure of sympathy for him and hope that someday he does change his life for the better. In the meantime, we here at the K hope that somebody does get their hands on this magnificent replica.

Failing that, we always appreciate donations of similar replicas!